30 Biblically-based questions to help you determine whether to engage in a conversation - Glimpse of Infinity
NOTE: These questions are available in an easy-to-read printable PDF chart. Please feel free to download and share the PDF.

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Should I, or Shouldn't I ENGAGE?

In this day and age, it’s easy to cherry-pick Bible verses to suit our own desires and viewpoints. We are all guilty of it. So how do we ensure that when we have a conversation with someone (either in person or online), we are doing so in a healthy, biblical manner?

At the beginning of his ministry, Jesus taught us how to interact with God’s Word. After fasting for 40 days and 40 nights, Jesus was quoted Scripture by none other than Satan himself. One could even argue that other than God, no one knows Scripture better than Satan, who like many in the world, quote Scripture to serve their own pride and passions. In response to Satan’s schemes, Jesus looked at the whole Word of God and responded accordingly (Matthew 4:1-11).

When engaging in a conversation with someone, here is a list of questions to ask yourself before proceeding. This list isn’t exhaustive, but it provides a good starting point for anyone that calls themself a Christian.

If, after reading a few questions, you come to the determination that you can’t converse like this, then please consider taking the time to engage with your Bible more thoroughly. If anyone keeps His word, the love of God has been truly perfected in him. By this we know that we are in Him: Whoever claims to abide in Him must walk as Jesus walked (1 John 2:5-6).

  1. Does what I’m about to say embody loving my neighbor as myself? (Mark 12:31)
    Yes ↓    No → Don't engage

  2. Am I getting entangled in a conversation that is going to draw me away from proclaiming the kingdom of God? (2 Timothy 2:4, Luke 9:59-62)
    No ↓    Yes → Don't engage

  3. Will I be speaking evil about someone? (Titus 3:2)
    No ↓    Yes → Don't engage

  4. Will I avoid quarreling and godless chatter? (Titus 3:2, James 4:1, 2 Timothy 2:16)
    Yes ↓    No → Don't engage

  5. Will I be kind and gentle in my speech? (Titus 3:2, Ephesians 4:32)
    Yes ↓    No → Don't engage

  6. Will I be showing perfect courtesy toward all people? (Titus 3:2)
    Yes ↓    No → Don't engage

  7. If I engage in a question, will my answer be soft in my speech? (Proverbs 15:1)
    Yes ↓    No → Don't engage

  8. If I feel like I am enduring evil, am I patiently enduring it? (2 Timothy 2:24)
    Yes ↓    No → Don't engage

  9. Does what I’m about to say line up with the fruits of the Spirit, which are true qualities of a Christian? Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. (Galatians 5:22-23)
    Yes ↓    No → Don't engage

  10. Have I become conceited about the conversation I am about to engage in? (Galatians 5:26)
    No ↓    Yes → Don't engage

  11. Will my conversation reflect humility? (Ephesians 4:2, Colossians 3:12, Proverbs 3:34, Philippians 2:3, Psalm 147:6)
    Yes ↓    No → Don't engage

  12. Will I put on a compassionate heart? (Colossians 3:12)
    Yes ↓    No → Don't engage

  13. Will I be prideful? (Proverbs 11:2, Proverbs 29:23)
    No ↓    Yes → Don't engage

  14. Will my conversation reflect my desire to live in harmony with one another? (Romans 12:16)
    Yes ↓    No → Don't engage

  15. Am I hot-tempered in the matter being discussed? (Proverbs 15:18)
    No ↓    Yes → Don't engage

  16. Will my conversation reflect my desire to count others more significant than myself? (Philippians 2:3-11)
    Yes ↓    No → Don't engage

  17. Is what I’m about to say out of rivalry or conceit? (Philippians 2:3)
    No ↓    Yes → Don't engage

  18. Will I be complaining or arguing? (Philippians 2:14-15)
    No ↓    Yes → Don't engage

  19. If my conversation involves disputes regarding matters of the church, am I keeping them out of public forums? (1 Corinthians 6:1)
    Yes ↓    No → Don't engage

  20. If my conversation involves people outside of the faith, will I be wise in how I act toward outsiders? (Colossians 4:5)
    Yes ↓    No → Don't engage

  21. Will corrupting talk come out of my mouth? (Ephesians 4:29)
    No ↓    Yes → Don't engage

  22. Will my conversation reflect my ambition to lead a quiet life and mind my own business? (1 Thessalonians 4:11)
    Yes ↓    No → Don't engage

  23. Will my conversation reflect my desire to be a peacemaker and live peaceably with all? (Matthew 5:9, Romans 12:18, Hebrews 12:14, Psalm 34:14, Jude 1:2)
    Yes ↓    No → Don't engage

  24. Am I avoiding engaging in foolish controversies? (Titus 3:9)
    Yes ↓    No → Don't engage

  25. Will I stir up division? (Titus 3:10)
    No ↓    Yes → Don't engage

  26. Will I stir up conflict in the community? (Proverbs 6:16-19)
    No ↓    Yes → Don't engage

  27. Will my speech be gracious? (Colossians 4:6)
    Yes ↓    No → Don't engage

  28. Will my words reflect my desire to do good to those who hate me? (Luke 6:27)
    Yes ↓    No → Don't engage

  29. From what I can foresee, will the conversation I am engaging in cause others to stumble or sin? (1 Corinthians 8:9, Mark 9:42, Romans 14:1, Romans 14:13, Luke 17:1-3)
    No ↓    Yes → Don't engage

  30. From what I can foresee, is there anything else about this conversation that is unhealthy and might cause me to grieve the Holy Spirit of God? (Ephesians 4:30)
    No ↓    Yes → Don't engage

    ENGAGE

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